Today on Facebook, of course, a good friend of mine, Shanon, who has a morning show on Heaven 97 KHVN said she and her radio partner were going to be discussing women who sleep with married men. I have been the wronged woman in that scenario, so today I would like to say a few words to the women who do this. Actually I want to speak to the one who did this to me in particular, so here it is an open letter from the hurt wife, girlfriend or fiancé, just pick which one you are and this letter is on your behalf.
Dear Other Woman,
You think you have won, but you have not, you, in fact of have lost, and lost big time and I am going to tell you why. It is because you have betrayed your own kind, womankind. We are supposed to be united, we are woman hear us roar, it was a song, our anthem. But then you came along, you looked in, saw my life and wanted it for your own. What no one told you was that life came with a price. The price I paid for you taking that life, well, it was emotionally damaging for me, and my children. But you are an emotionally damaged person yourself, so that is not going to affect you, no the price you will pay will be eternal. The man that left us for you will not remain faithful, if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you, he will always be looking for the next one, the younger one, the prettier one. The one that will now laugh at his inane jokes, and yes he knows they are inane, but you are still expected to laugh. He will move on from you, never fear, you will be left by the wayside just like I was.
No the price you pay, is eternal loneliness, because you will never be satisfied to have something of your own. You will always want what someone else has; I was an unfortunate victim of that. I believe you are this way because you lack something, perhaps pride, pride in who you are, where you come from, pride in just the fact you are a woman. Perhaps you are weak; perhaps you have low self esteem. Whatever it is that makes you go after men that are with other women, you need to figure it out, you need to fix it.
As women, we are supposed to look after one another, the way Ruth looked after her mother-in-law even after her husband’s death. That is the way we are supposed to be with each other, supportive, loving, always lifting each other up. We are not supposed to want to destroy another woman and her children’s lives; we should be trying to find ways to make each other lives better, stronger, easier. If I had known you before you had done any of this I would like to think I would have been your friend and if you had come to me I would have talked you out of going for someone else’s husband/boyfriend/fiancé. I would like to think that I would have lifted you up in prayer, told you when you felt weak to call me. Together, as women we will overcome whatever it is that gives you this impulse. I know what you are thinking, I know nothing of this, but I do, I have a cousin, who is a great deal older than I, who had 3 children with a married man. I remember this, my grandmother had disowned her, it was a huge thing in our family, women do not do this kind of thing. My cousin was convinced the man would leave his wife and be all hers, after the 3rd child he left my cousin, penniless, destitute and without child support. It was horrible, in the end she was alone, she had caused another woman pain, and now she would have to pay the price.
Eventually so will you, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Is trying to take this man, who does not belong with me, worth it? If he is with someone else he is not your soul mate, he has already found someone, committed to her, put a ring on it, he belongs to someone else.
I hope any woman out there contemplating doing this will stop and think about the women it affects; it is long lasting and long reaching effects