Nov 26, 2015 - General    No Comments


I hate Thanksgiving, there, I said it, the thing you’re not supposed to say. It is a day that reminds me of what I don’t have. I don’t have a family to spend it with, my children spend the week with their dads’ family. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they do that, I would never want them to miss out on that. 

Getting back to me, my parents are deceased and I don’t have any siblings. I know what you are thinking, I could spend the day with friends. I did have an invitation, but the thing is, I feel out of place. Like I’m intruding on someone else’s family. 

I’ve felt that way my entire life, like I’m intruding, not really belonging. My birth mother should never have had children, she had four, she gave all of us away. But not before we were scarred. 

I’m happy I was adopted, I had great parents, but I didn’t belong. Their children made sure I knew that, I was introduced as Angie, she’s not real, she’s adopted. 

So, I hate Thanksgiving, it just shines a light on my inability to belong. 

I know this is a day I’m supposed to reflect on everything I’m grateful for, but it’s hard for me. I am thankful to God I have a roof, food, job and amazing children. 

I’m thankful I get to spend time with my granddaughter. I’m thankful both her mother and father allow me to spend time with her. 

It doesn’t take away from the fact that this day is hard as I feel like it gives me a glance into my future. That I am not real, I don’t matter in anyone’s life, when I die I won’t be missed. 

I’m happy for all who have families they get together with and celebrate this day with. But I genuinely hate Thanksgiving. 

Nov 20, 2015 - General    No Comments

Civil Disobedience

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, a bad habit, I know, however, with all that is happening in the world and in this country it is unavoidable. I can’t do anything about what is happening in the world abroad, however as a citizen of the United States of America I do have a voice. It’s a voice that really won’t be heard, however, I can choose to speak.
I have been thinking a lot lately about Civil Disobedience, reading Thoreau is ubiquitous in American high schools, so it should not come as a surprise that the events happening in our country brings that to mind.
The one thing that stands out and I keep repeating in my head is his argument that individuals should not permit a government to overrule their consciences, the people have a to not acquiescence to a government that makes them agents of injustice.
The main things that drove Thoreau to make these statements and write and give lectures on this was the Mexican-American war and slavery.
He was very anti war and anti slavery, while I know we don’t have slavery today, partly in thanks to people like him and them speaking out actively doing something about it, we do have war.
It seems, every day, we are closer to that war being fought on our own soil, something that has not been done since WWII. I am not including September 11, 2011 in this as our own planes were used against us. There was nothing for our military to fight back against on that day, the events just unfolded in a shocking and horrifying way.
It seems we are at a crossroads again in this country, just the way we were in 1848, when the collective conscious said no, no to slavery and no to the Mexican-American war. The war didn’t stop, but people spoke out about it, and their voices were heard.
We are an unique country, we can speak out, we can say no, we have the right to stand up and tell our government we will not acquiesce to tyranny, we will not give up our right to bear arms, we will, as a people stand up and be heard.
There seems to be an underlying current in our great country in these times, we are tired of the status quo, of being thought of as weak by other countries. It is a situation we are not used to, since the shot that was heard around the world was fired in Concord. I believe we forgot who we were for a while, we became complacent, and in complacency you will find apathy and stagnation.
We are waking up, we are finding the people that are supposed to look after our best interests here and abroad are indeed not. And, yes, I do know it has been this way since the beginning of time, however, here, in this time, in this place, people are waking up.
It is not right to tax a people to the point of breaking, and no you do not deserve a free college education. You are provided a basic education for free, anything beyond that is on you, go work for it. Show the world you are not a whining, selfish children, show the world you care about the country that you live in.
If you want to change the way things are done, read Henry David Thoreau, all of his works, it is worth the time and effort to do so. I don’t know if they still have students read Walden in high school anymore, however, if you have read it, re-read it.
I know there is a bit of rambling here, I am filled with rambling thoughts, therefore must get them out in the that way.

Nov 7, 2015 - General    No Comments

In the Moment

The other night, here in the DFW area, we had a storm, where I live it was a light show. I ran outside to watch it, decided to try and capture it on film as it were. Ran back in for my camera and could never get what I wanted. It was then I realized I was supposed to enjoy it, not capture it, so I stood and watched God’s incredible show. And it was truly glorious and a balm on my soul.
I believe, in today’s society, with the advent of so much technology that we forget to be in the moment. We are always trying to capture it on our cell phones or other devices, that I believe, we miss out on the pure enjoyment of the moment.
I was reminded of that with the lightening show, I am grateful the camera didn’t capture it and I took the time to put it down and simply watch.
Don’t get me wrong, pictures are a powerful reminder of situations, family moments, lost family and friends. However, sometimes it is just nice being in the moment and enjoying what is happening around you.
I still have not added Facebook back to my phone, nor twitter, the only place I see it is on the computer. I get on my computer in the mornings to read Dear Abby and look at the comics, I love starting my morning like that, gently. Also, to write this, I don’t enjoy writing on my phone, too small and I am too old. Bad eyesight and all that.
Also, since the election is coming up, in all honesty, I don’t want to see it, the mud slinging, the oh if you are voting for so and so unfriend me. If one cannot be friends with someone who thinks differently politically, well, you don’t deserve any friends.
I am more focused on stress levels and growing in my relationship with God, I believe that those are the important things for me right now. I do believe there are some seriously messed up things going on in this country right now and they will only get worse before getting better.
I do not feel the need to air that on social media, or to criticize or be criticized by people who think differently than I.
I am going now, I will be enjoying the quietness and perhaps watching a movie before Doctor Who tonight. What? You knew something nerdy had to work its way in here somehow.

Nov 3, 2015 - General    1 Comment


I made a decision last week, I decided to get off of social media for a while, as in Facebook and Twitter. I admit I still looked at Instagram because, well, the pictures are fun and I don’t get notifications for that one. Except when tagged or Elizabeth Anne wants me to see something.
I deleted Facebook and Twitter from my phone, I did this for me, not because someone said or posted something I didn’t agree with. I’m an adult, I can handle it when others don’t think like I do.
I wanted to see what life was like without those two things, an experiment if you will. I have to say I enjoyed it, we live in a world that is barraged with others are doing, thinking or saying. Instantly, the news is but a touch away, knowing what our friends are doing is right there.
The experiment made me realize that I liked it not being on my phone, I will keep it deleted for now, I say for now because no one knows what the future may bring.
I am back on Facebook and twitter on the computer only. If I am away from the computer, which is a lot, I tend to go on in the mornings or when I want to express a thought. Or make my grocery list, I do that on the computer so I can print it out, my handwriting leaves a lot to be desired.
I did find one thing fascinating, I kept getting messages on Facebook, it taught me a lesson. Not everyone reads everything I write. So therefore I don’t need to put everything on there. Which I didn’t, but now I know I am not the center of everyone’s universe. Shocking!
For those of you that don’t really know me, that is sarcasm, so I say hello to social media in a limited amount.

Oct 25, 2015 - General    No Comments

Heavy Heart

My dad loved college football, he said it was the last time players played for the love of the game instead of a paycheck. He particularly loved the Sooners, he would watch every OU game that was on television and if it wasn’t on television, he would listen on the radio. This was back in the day where pay-per-view and cable didn’t really exist. Especially in the country, where we were at.
When he wasn’t rooting for OU, he rooted for OSU, unless they were playing OU of course. I asked him once why he would ever root for OSU, even when they weren’t playing OU.
He looked at me with that dad look, you know the one, the head half-cocked, one eyebrow raised, and said words I would never forget.
He told me that all Oklahomans stick together, and when OSU wasn’t playing his beloved Sooners, the Cowboys deserved his respect and attention. Simply due to the fact they were representing Oklahoma.
He would be heartbroken over what happened in Stillwater yesterday, senseless loss of life, people injured. Especially children, the children injured and dying would have brought him to his knees. He would have asked God to wrap His arms around the parents and families and thank God for welcoming the children into heaven with open arms.
He would have prayed for the person who did this, for her family, as the guilt of this will be staggering on them as well. Our actions have a ripple effect and her family will be hurting over her actions.
When I would question him on this, and I would have, he would assure me that our God is a loving God and will be there for the survivors. We should pray without prejudice, and pray unceasingly.
My dad was what we call a good man, he was a godly man and he was the head of our household. I miss his unwavering belief that everything would be ok, that consistent prayer and worship and study would bring us the answers we need in life.
He was first and foremost a Christian, after that came my mom and his family, then he was an Oklahoman, to the core of his being. Even when they moved to California during the depression he never stopped trying to figure out a way to get back.
God provided that way through a job at McDonald Douglas, God was faithful to His faithful servant.
I have to believe now, in the wake of this tragedy in my beloved Oklahoma, God is faithful, He is the great comforter.
Like my dad taught me by example, I prayed for the victims’ families, for their loss, and for the survivors, I pray for a quick healing of body, mind and soul. And yes, I pray for the perpetrators family, that they can come to grips with what their loved one did.

Sep 26, 2015 - General    No Comments

To My Children

As a parent we never stop worrying about our children, even when they are adults and make their own decisions. We do our best as parents to instill in them the confidence to make their decisions, to steer their lives their way. There comes a time when every parent has to let go.
There is one thing I want my children to always remember, all of them, no matter what, no matter what amount of time passes, how old they become or where they land in life. I will always have their backs, every single time. I will always be in their corner, whether they need a cheer leader, a champion or silent approval, I will always be that person in their lives.
When I became an adult and went into the work world I was shocked to find that everyone didn’t love their parents the way that I did. But then again, not everyone had the same kind of parents I was fortunate enough to have. I can only pray that my children feel about me the way I felt about my parents.
I always knew my mom was in my corner, my dad as well, but his was never silent cornering, his was sometimes loud disapproval of my choices and loud directives to what I should be doing. It was all done with love, I have nothing bad to say about that kind of parenting. However, I strive daily to be more like my mom, if I am just a third as good as she was, then I will have accomplished something.
So I say this to you, always remember I am here, I am never going to judge you, I will always love you and I will always be in your corner.

Sep 7, 2015 - General    No Comments


Rhetoric:  the undue use of exaggeration. Get used to it folks, we are in for a rocky year, this election year is going to be brutal. All gloves are off, people are just nasty, and I am not talking about the politicians.

Facebook is already filling with memes depicting each side as ignorant and evil. As usual I will not be expounding my side here or on Facebook. I refuse to be drawn into pointless arguments. Anyone who knows me well will know who I will be casting my vote for.

I am really tired of a lot of things lately, wait, tired is the wrong word, disgusted, that’s the word. I am disgusted that police officers are being hunted like animals and shot down, I am disgusted that people think guns are the problem. People, mental illness and the media, those are the problems.

I am disgusted by parents not taking responsibility for their actions, leaving small children alone so they can drink or do drugs. It’s called adoption people, look into it, give your children to people who want them and will take care of them in an appropriate manner. I am a huge advocate of adoption, being that I was adopted myself.

I am disgusted by the ignorance of our history, people spout random thoughts like they are facts. They are not, read a book, better yet, read a history book, read several, not just one, get several different accounts of the same event. Somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I read, on the internet, of course, that the rest of the world doesn’t view our Revolutionary War the same way we do. The article suggested it wasn’t that important. Stupid, stupid author, of course our Revolutionary War is not that important to different countries. It’s OUR Revolutionary War, our break for freedom, not theirs, I read it and thought how ignorant does one have to be to just throw something together and it lands on Yahoo news as gospel. Then I realized that was a stupid thought as almost every story on Yahoo news is inane and stupid. I did the only thing I could, I quickly and quietly closed my browser.

Ignorance is invading our society at an alarming rate, I have to be honest, I am terrified for the future of our nation, no, the world. I am terrified for the future of our world, I am however not terrified for my own future. I know what happens to me when I die and I am good with it. More than good with it, you see I will be going to Heaven. However, while I am here, I am commanded to help where I can and have been taught since I was a child to take a stand, make a difference.

I shall continue to take a stand for what I believe is right, having said that, I do believe I shall become controversial for a moment.

Why have we not defunded Planned Parenthood already? Those videos are disturbing, and another thing, it is a life at conception, it is not just a cluster of cells, and they are pulling out babies from the womb! BABIES. Call them what they are, they are not fetuses, they are babies. I was an unplanned pregnancy, so happy abortion wasn’t readily available when my birth mother became pregnant. Perhaps some of you should be as thankful, you are here to spread rhetoric around like it is truth.




Sep 6, 2015 - General    No Comments


So, last night we gathered to say farewell and good luck to Andrew, he was my very first trainer at IPT (Infinity Personal Training). He has always been there with an encouraging word and urging me to work harder and making me laugh when I felt like throwing in the towel during a workout.

Even when he wasn’t training the class he would come by with a high five or a looking good Angie, keep it up. I am going to miss his enthusiastic encouragements and his spontaneous dance moves. I understand the reason for leaving, he is going on the adventure of a lifetime, he is going to the country of his mothers’ origin, to live and work for 6 to nine months maybe longer. He is fortunate as he is getting to share the adventure with his sister. I can hardly wait to see what he does and see his take on the culture and the differences between here and there. Why yes, I will be Facebook stalking his adventure!

I am on day three of a 4-day weekend, and it is amazing, I have achieved nothing I wanted to, I have been almost completely lazy and I don’t care. I have no regrets. None.

This is my third day in a row to have coffee, I have no regrets about that either, after tomorrow the coffee maker will go up until the next weekend, when it will come out for two days then back up.

This will be a short entry as I do need to finish laundry and do some things around here and then go to the grocery store.



Sep 4, 2015 - General    No Comments

Fitness Update and Other Stuff

Today is the start of my much awaited 4-day weekend, I am so incredibly happy and thankful it is here. I go back to a normal Monday through Friday next week, with Monday being off for the holiday of course.

I worked Sundays so I could have Fridays off during the summer to spend with Tess, I did get to spend quite a few with her. So grateful to her dad and her mother for allowing her to spend time with me, it is a privilege not a right and I understand that.

School is in session now and we go back to our normal schedule, with me picking her up on her dads’ Fridays. I love being able to do that, it is always so much fun when she runs out to the car and gets in and says GiGi I love you!

I am sitting here having coffee, which I do on the weekends, yes, I am still on that, I have found it makes it special. Plus, added bonus, since I don’t have caffeine coursing through my veins the way I used to, I can actually feel the effects. Sometimes I can hear the colors, it’s awesome.

My new fitness goal is well under way, I am back to losing and toning, I stepped off of the curb for a minute, but I am back on the right path. The other day I made my famous lemon pepper chicken and had salads all week. I had a kale salad as big as my head!

I have unexplained bruises all over my legs, so I had the Irishman google it, he refused to read the number one cause, and went to the second. And it made sense:

Vitamin Deficiency- If the body lacks in the nutrients necessary to build tissue properly, the tissue can become worn and more susceptible to injury. Deficiencies in vitamin B12, C or K can lead to poorly formed tissue. Women are more likely to experience these deficiencies than men, especially when they are dieting. As the body loses the excess fat, the thin tissue becomes more exposed and easier to injury.


So I am trying to get more of those vitamins into my body naturally with fewer supplements, I have a hard time eating a lot, I know that seems strange give how huge I am. However, when you don’t eat enough your body hangs onto weight as it is scared you will starve it. My body is slowly starting to trust me now that I am feeding it and giving it physical activity.

I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend, enjoy your friends and family and remember what the day is all about, it is to celebrate the laborers who built this great nation.


Sep 1, 2015 - General    No Comments

A Couple of Rants

I have a couple of things I want to get out of my brain and writing them down is the only way to do that. So, forewarning, if you drive a minivan or are a person that posts things about “thick” girls being the only real women, you might want to find other reading material.

First off, minivan drivers, seriously, when you bought this vehicle did they tell you to stop driving like a rational human? This morning I was boxed in by three of you! Three! Seemingly your gas pedals refused to work, it was a 5:30 am catastrophe in the making. Do minivans even come with gas pedals? I know they come with brakes, because you all kept riding yours! Since it was all three of you I can only assume all minivan drivers behave in the same fashion. If this does not describe you, please do not take offense, as I am really angry and frustrated with the three this morning and taking it out on all minivan drivers.

Let’s move on shall we, for the past few weeks my Facebook feed has been filled with meme’s regarding “thick” women. Some stating they were the “real” women, that men should get a clue and not go for skinny women only thick women are real. What was the one that pushed me over the edge you might ask, I’m glad you did. It said, and I quote “They ride harder, Cuddle Better, Prettier and Sexier, Thick Girls Rule, Get Yourself 1 Today!” I did not add the exclamation point, that was there.

I wanted to respond with seriously, how do you know? I have a daughter that is tiny, I want to be tiny. All of this talk about being thick and loving the body you are in, it’s unhealthy. Eat real food, real food consists of organic, naturally grown vegetables and fruit, grass fed meat, a treat once in a while. Nothing processed, get some physical exercise in, healthy is not fat, I know this because I have battled it all of my life.

I have never once said oh I’m a thick girl so I am better than everyone, no, I have said I am unhealthy at this weight and it needs to come off. I love Maria Kang for one simple reason, she is real, you want to see a “real” woman, take a look at her. She practices what she preaches, she is honest in telling her story and how she has battled weight and eating disorders and finally getting healthy.

Other real women I know, my friend Gladys, she works hard, she inspires me to work hard and be the best I can physically. My daughter, Elizabeth Anne, inspires me daily, she is also my biggest encourager, and she agrees with most of my rants. The women I work out with at IPT, none of them are perfect, but they are like me, trying to be better physically, I like to think we encourage each other. They inspire me to do more, to lift heavier and go further, love them.

So instead of posting the things that encourage women to stay unhealthy, perhaps we could start a new trend and start posting meme’s that say things like, eat broccoli instead of the pizza.

Whew, that felt good, remember, whatever negative thing you want to say to me, this is MY page and MY opinion. It is called Angie World for a reason.


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