Happily Ever After?

I think we all know by now I am a pretty cynical person when it comes to love and happily ever after; however, here is something not a lot of people know, I am completely crazy about sappy love songs. I know all the words, I sing them completely heartfelt and with great emotion. But I don’t believe them, I don’t believe that one person is going to be there for me the rest of my life, I don’t believe that one person will love me and want to take care of me and will be faithful. I have had too much happen to me in my life to buy into that. There are reasons Disney movies stop at the wedding, that no one knows what happens after Cinderella moves into the castle. Was she expected to cook and clean? Was prince charming actually charming? Was he faithful? Did he treat her with respect? We don’t know, we will never know.
I wish there were a handbook on relationships; I don’t know anything about them, except what I witnessed between my parents. Ok, one happily ever after story that was brought to fruition, dang it two, my grandparents. Those are the only two that I am positive the man did not cheat on the woman; the only ones where I saw true equality. I know how it is supposed to work, relationships, but I don’t know how to put it into practical use.
I recently read somewhere that a woman wanted to have a relationship like Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. These two broken people find each other and seemingly rescue each other, did anyone miss the fact she was a hooker? And what happens after he gets her out of her tenement apartment with his white limo? See it is the ever after that we are left in the dark about.
Is that a good thing? Would we continue to try if we did know what happens? Did Julia’s character feel trapped by Richard’s character’s neediness? Because he was needy and emotionally stunted, it begs the question is Romeo and Juliet the perfect love story? We know what happened to them at the end. There was not happily ever after because these two people did themselves in. I think people forget that as well when they say that is a romantic tale. Romeo and Juliet was written as a cautionary tale, what happens when you defy your parents. But somehow it got all turned around, there is nothing romantic about taking ones own life.
Am I jaded? Perhaps. Am I a realist? I like to think so. Am I broken? Possibly. Only a really good therapist can answer these questions, and trust me I have been to one. He actually said I was the most mentally healthy person he had ever met, because I know what my issues are, I meet them head on and toss out the ones that harm me and embrace the ones that make me unique.
I don’t know what my future holds for me, I know there is no happily ever after, I do know relationships are hard work, take two people committed to making it work, and there are periods of great sacrifice and periods of great, over the top happiness.

2 Replies to “Happily Ever After?”

  1. You know Angie. I am a sucker for the concept of love myself. But sometimes it gets me into trouble. I like to think that I am not a naive person, but when it comes to matters of the heart, I tend to make some rushed decisions because I truely believe in the fairy tale ending. I think I just need to wake up and realize life is not like the movies. Ya know.

  2. The “Happy Ever After” that Disney sells us doesn’t exist. There is no fairytale. This is because no one is perfect. It also takes years to really know someone, it’s not an overnight thing.
    Love is not about living in bliss for the rest of your life in a castle somewhere far away. It’s about being with someone you love, even with imperfections.
    To me, love is being with someone you couldn’t imagine life without. Someone you’d be happy to be old with. To get to the old together takes a lot of work, and there may be amazing highs, and some sad lows, but in the end, all that matters is that you’re together and made it through it all. That is love.

    I never saw my parents have a heated argument. They had plenty of disagreements and probably hit plenty bumps along the way. I never saw those bumps though. They showed true companionship and solidarity to the outside world. I believe that is love too.

    There is Disney love, and there is reality love.

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