Tough Week

Here we are in August, a truly bitter-sweet month for me, Michael’s birthday was August 9th, and the anniversary of my mom going home to be with her daddio was August 11th. This year it hit me that I have no one in my life that remembers Michael and I have few people left who remember my mom. Wait, let me amend that I have one in my life that remembers both, my BFF Tammi, she is the one I went to this year for remembrance.

Grief is a funny thing, it can hit you when you least expect it, and it can linger for years, we never fully “get over” losing someone precious. The grief is always there, the pain doesn’t lessen, it just becomes bearable, a way of life.

When I lost Michael I was told, by a member of my family no less, that I was being punished for things I had done in my youth. for a long time I bought into that, as I was only 20 when he passed away. I know better now, I know he was taken by no fault of mine, by no fault of his babysitter, God did not take him to punish me or because He needed an angel. We do not become angels when we die, we are saints, let’s all try to remember that. He died from something they still know very little about, SIDS, he was healthy, perfect and amazing, and a freak thing took him.

My mom is another story entirely, she lived an incredible life, until Alzheimer’s robbed her of her memories, her life and her dignity, it is a horrible disease I would not wish on my worst enemy.

My mom was an amazing woman, there are things about her I bet people who knew her don’t know. Everyone knows she was kind, gentle, a staunch prayer warrior and an amazing woman, she was also a published author. She wanted to be a school teacher, however during the depression there was no money for college, especially for a girl, if anyone got to go to college in those days it was the boys. because they had potential to earn money for the family.

She was so smart, wickedly funny and loyal, loyalty is highly underrated these days, but in her day it was a virtue, she epitomized that trait. If you were lucky enough to be her friend, you were her friend for life. if you were fortunate enough to be adopted by her, well, you were her daughter for life.

I’ll never forget her last words to me, she told me I had been the most pleasant of surprises, I know she meant in life. I’ll always be grateful for her example to me, what it is to be a mom, a woman, a friend and a Christian. I celebrate her, I mourn her, I miss her, but most of all I look forward to seeing her again and telling her how much I love her.

If you are reading this and you have a memory of my mom that stands out, I would love to hear about it, please feel free to comment here or on Facebook.

 

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