Mixed Emotions

I have such mixed emotions about the people searching for their birth families on Facebook, it is such a public forum and adoption remains a very private issue. I was adopted so I feel I have a valid view point on this. I have other things in my life which gives me another unique view of this issue as well. One I will not get into here.

My thought is this, the woman who gave you up did so for a reason, for most birth mothers this was not a selfish reason, it was indeed selfless in nature.

It was painful, hopefully you will never know the pain that went into the decision she made when she gave you up to be raised in what was hopefully a happy home.

A home that could afford to give you the things she could not, a home that could give you not only material things but love and stability.

It was painful and for some shameful, and here you are on Facebook telling the world of her pain and shame. There is no way I would want to come forward in this public manner to say hey everybody it was me that got knocked up and had to give their kid up.

This is such a private matter, and really needs to be handled delicately, allow this woman some dignity, some privacy. Do the research, in this day and age most adoptions are not closed and have not been since the 1980’s.

Do your due diligence, don’t post this on Facebook, research, find her in private and then if she wishes to announce to the world she has reconnected with her long lost child let it be her decision.

You will never understand the pain of what she went through, the difficulty, the sleepless nights. Every adoption went wrong movie on Lifetime will literally stab her in the heart. She will want to know what happened to you, she wants to know that you had a good life, she longs to know that.

Just know how painful it was for her to give you up, the decision was not done lightly, and I know I may take a lot of heat for this opinion. But it is just that, my opinion, and I stand by it.

 

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