Self Doubts

My job in the telecommunications industry will soon be gone, my soon to be 17 years experience seems for naught. I am trying to figure out how all of my experience translates into other areas. It is a bit daunting, everyone keeps telling me how lucky any other company would be to have me. However, at the age that I am, and companies will ask, what is there for me to move to? What job am I capable of doing?

When I ask for specific examples of what other think I might be good at, I hear crickets. No one has anything, just platitudes, and while, typically, I love a good platitude, now is not the time. I need specifics of what people think I would be good at.

I would love to be able to explore the radio thing more fully, since beginning Conversations with Shanon Jay I have gotten the bug. I love being on the radio, having a platform in which to vocalize my thoughts is nothing short of amazing. However I would need to go back to school to learn broadcasting. I do love school, I love the learning, but once again, at my age who would hire me to be on the radio? I do Conversations for free, so it isn’t a job per se.

I don’t know what I am good at, customer service yes, but seriously; do I want to be in a call center the rest of my life? Is that the only thing I am good at? Is that all there is to me? Isn’t there more? Does anyone see anything more in me?

That thought is depressing, that is all I am good for, placating people, and that is what customer service is. Placating. Big time, I’m good at it, yes, but I would love to move on from it.

Am I so bad at everything else that no one can give me any kind of help in figuring out what I am supposed to do? I have put in for other jobs within the major telecommunications company I work for, so far, no bites, no one wants me. Depression is setting in, not for long because I really can’t stand to wallow in self-pity. I was raised to believe that was one of the biggest sins of all, to wallow, not to pull oneself up, not to rely that God will show you a path.

I believe God will show me the path I am supposed to be on, I pray I recognize it when it is in front of me.

Leave a Reply