Depressed

As I sit and ponder my looming birthday the enormity of my age weighs heavily on me.
Questions form in my mind, will I start to fall apart? Will I begin to get health problems? I see my peers on Facebook complaining of things that ache or high blood pressure, high cholesterol and how their bodies are betraying them in other ways.
I am ridiculously healthy, even for being as fat as a pig I have normal cholesterol, normal triglycerides, normal everything. I have never had a broken bone, never had a broken anything really. Wounded pride yes, broken heart no. I do have low self esteem however I believe every woman has that. Almost every woman. I know there are some that love everything about themselves.
Getting older does not signify getting better for me. It signifies rejection on a different level.
My looks will be rejected even more so now, my body will begin to reject itself and my mind may reject knowledge. The world at large will reject me based on my age and looks, I am used to being rejected based on my looks, however now it will be taken to a different level. Wrinkles, gray hair and sagging body parts await me. Growing old bites!!

3 Replies to “Depressed”

  1. Stop thinkin that way, grrl! Yaaaa — “easier said than done” aint it? Well Angie – what I know that will overcome your fears is that your HEART is GREAT!! No one rejects YOUR heart! I was amazed to see you believe your heart has never been broken. I believe, through my experiences, rejection of one’s heart is far worse than rejection of one for life’s inevitable physical changes.
    Besides, you care not what Society says, believes or feels — Society doesn’t KNOW you — your family – friends – co-workers – lover knows you and THEY are the only ones YOU KNOW… Society can — kiss your grits!!

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