Looks

I stopped at Starbucks today, it was a venti passion tea for me, unsweetened, I hope everyone is proud of me.
Do you ever have that time in your life where you don’t know what you are supposed to be doing and other times you are so sure of where your life is going? I feel as if I am at a precipice, I can’t explain it, and at my age it is incredible, but I feel like I am on the edge of something huge happening. In a good way, not a foreboding way, I just feel like my life is about to take a huge turn.
I wonder what is in store for me, sometimes; well a lot of the time, I wish I knew my future, I so want a crystal ball. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Wait, no, no it wouldn’t, there are some things I would not have wanted to know in advance. On second thought, I think I’d rather my life just unfold without me knowing what lies in front of me.
I wish I could give up, not in life, but food wise, I know you are all tired of hearing about this; however, I want to be able to eat whatever I want. Whenever I want, no worries about it going straight to my waist, hips, thighs, arms and well everywhere. I believe that is what heaven will be like, where I get to eat whatever I want without consequences. I wonder what it is like to be one of those people, do they think about it, do they appreciate it. I wonder what it is like to be naturally beautiful without need of cosmetics, plastic surgery and other things to make ourselves into society’s idea of beauty. I also wish I were one of those people, alas I need the help of cosmetics and would love to have plastic surgery.
There is a story in the news about a man who sued his wife for fraud, as she had plastic surgery to make herself beautiful before he met her. Then after the birth of their child he found out what she used to look like as the child was not beautiful like he expected. He won as she had never revealed what she used to look like. It begs the question, when you have had work done, do you tell when you begin to date someone? Do you tell them you have Botox treatments? That you color your hair, your nails are acrylic and you had your teeth straightened as a child? Aren’t some of these things a given? I know very few women who do not color their hair, paint their nails, wear makeup, make themselves pretty. We are ingrained from childhood that we need to be better versions of ourselves in order to attract a mate. So after having attracted that mate, do we then come clean that not everything about us is “real”?
I live in the Dallas, Texas area, this is the beauty capital of the world, yes even more so than Hollywood, this is it people. Women are expected to look like Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, big hair, makeup and nails; if you are not the Texas ideal of beauty you will not attract a man. That is what the popular belief is, and I will tell you, men keep it going. When a man talks about what kind of woman he wants in his life, intelligence is far down the list, hot is the word they use. And I have to tell you I am sick of the word hot used as a description, except when referring to fire. What happened to beautiful? Pretty? Cute?
The pressure to be society’s idea of “hot” is exhausting, it is exhausting to be a woman today, so of course we use what is available to us to continue to look acceptable. I know I do, I have been using Mary Kay skin care since I was in my 20’s and it has done me well. I look good, for my age; there is the rub, for my age. I hate that as well. Who decided what I should look like at my age, at any age? Who was that person? I can tell you this, it was a man, men say they want a natural woman, they don’t. No one does, trust me on this. I know I will get some heat for this one, but I for one will continue to take care of myself, color my hair, do my nails, make sure I look the best I can. For my age.

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