Loss

Well I gave up sugar again, I started last week, I am feeling better physically and yet craving it so very badly. I love sugar, if I could marry sugar I would, but I am staying off until Christmas, then I admit I plan on indulging in homemade sugar cookies and my no bake oatmeal cookies. Then back on the wagon, which will be hard however I know I can do it.
Does anyone else have this issue? A huge addiction to sugar, where you actually have withdrawal symptoms when you cleanse it out of your system? I am irritable, a little shaky, not quite the DT’s, but close, no hallucinations, yet, man, its tough!
Saturday’s show was really good, in case you missed it you can listen on our website, www.convosate.com, we are also in ITunes, you can subscribe to the podcast and it will download automatically. We talked about grieving and the holidays that is something I face every holiday and have for a long time. When one is surrounded by older people from a young age you face grieving sooner than you should have to.
There are so many people I miss this time of year, my grandparents, my parents, my son, my great aunt Effie, one of my best friends Sandi, Chewie. I also have a grand daughter who is in heaven; it is a tough time of year. However, I have my memories and I hold them close to me, they comfort me, they sustain me. I have so many memories of Christmases with my cousins at my grandparent’s house, the warmth, the laughter, the food. Those early years the memories are jumbled, but they bring such warmth to my soul, it is almost like I can reach out and touch them.
When I get sad, and I do get sad at times, I think back to all of the happy, fun times I have had with the people I miss and it makes me smile. I also think of where they are now, and the amazing celebration they are having. I know without a doubt they are having the best time, because everyone I know that has passed, they are in heaven. I honestly don’t know how people who don’t believe in a higher power handle grief, where do they think their loved ones are? I know without a doubt I will see my people again, I will have a joyous reunion with them, I will get to hug them, laugh with them and catch them up on all that happened after they left us. They will take me around and introduce me to relatives who went before I was born. I have vivid images of what it will be like, however, I know that I don’t have an imagination vivid enough for how it will really be.

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