Completely Knackered

I am so tired, I started to take today off, however I did not. Why am I so tired you ask, well I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I really don’t want to talk about it here as I tend to not talk about my personal life. Just know I am exhausted and honestly don’t know how much longer I can keep it up.
On a much happier note, I am loving my IPod these days, I know I touched on this yesterday, but last night I was listening to it on my way home and the soundtrack from Pirate Radio came on, and I am so loving these songs. I completely forgot about The Who, Cream and The Kinks, I seriously love The Kinks, so happy I am rediscovering this music.
This weekend the Irishman’s children are with us again, on Sunday we are supposed to go skating. I am very excited about this; I have gotten my skates out, cleaned them and oiled the bearings in the wheels. The girls are looking forward to going skating, they want to see me do better than their dad, I don’t think they believe that he can do anything physical. Hopefully he won’t try and weasel his way out of this. I don’t think I will allow him to. I want to go skating; I may need a new outfit. Oh speaking of new outfit, the shoes I ordered should be delivered today, so excited! I got two new pairs of boots, and two pairs of spring/summer wedges. I cannot wait to get them.
So March 1st will begin my journey to get down to a size 4, yes I said it, size 4, I would love to be a size 0, however I don’t think I can achieve that. When I get to a 4 then I will probably be so addicted to not eating and exercising like a maniac that I will just continue, if I could be a size 0 I would be the happiest person in the entire world. I do believe that would make me supremely happy, to be so thin that people look at me and say “eat a burger”. That is my goal. And before anyone says it, I don’t want to hear it. I know I am hugely overweight and do not look good. I know I fake it a lot, but I know without a doubt that people are disgusted when they look at me. So, after my birthday month, I will be not eating, and exercising. It is my last chance to be pretty, I am almost too old. Wish me luck!

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