my Mom

I miss my mom. Four simple words, such powerful emotions attached to them. My mom has been gone now for seven years. She was a huge influence in my life, I know what you are thinking, isn’t everyone’s mother a huge influence in their lives. I suppose so, but not everyone has a mother like I had.
I was very fortunate to actually end up with the mother I did, as I was adopted, it was just the luck of the draw. Being around my mom made me want to be a better person; with her being gone I don’t know that I am the person I truly want to be. She made everyone around her want to aspire to be a better person. Do you know I never heard my mother say one negative thing about anyone; she truly lived the “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” philosophy.
When I tell you my mom was perfect, I am not exaggerating, one time I asked her to just please tell me one thing that she had done wrong in her life. One thing she regretted, I guess now would be the time to tell you she was 80 years old at the time. She said “Angie, I am not perfect, I don’t know why you insist on this belief you have that I am” I said, “ok, one thing”. So we sat there, and sat there, and sat there, finally 5 minutes later, she says “well ok, this one time when I was 5 years old”. My mouth dropped open, I was stupefied, she had to go back 75 years to find something she was truly ashamed of, I could go back 75 minutes and find something. I know you are waiting to know what she did, however she made me promise to never repeat it. Just know it was a normal 5 year old thing. But it affected her so much that she decided then and there to strive, not for perfection, but for goodness. And she achieved it in spades.
She had a quiet spirit, one of those people that just by being near her you yourself became calm. My favorite thing to do with my mom was just sit on the sofa in total silence; you could just feel the peacefulness she felt. It was truly an amazing experience.
I did see my mom lose her temper, twice, once was directed towards me, huge surprise, I know, that I could actually make someone lose their temper. But I am not going to take all of the heat for that one; my dad was in on that as well. He was trying to teach me to drive and somehow, I don’t know how, I ended up going through the fence. My mom came flying out of the front door and pointed at my dad and simply said “DRIVERS ED!” and yes she said it in all caps.
The next time was directed at my niece, who was a very picky eater. I am not going into details on that one; let’s just say my mom lost the battle. Of course I found it amusing. I had to leave the room so she wouldn’t see me laughing; I did not want that anger directed at me!
I did inherit a lot of traits from my mom; she used to say I got those by osmosis. We both liked the heel of the bread, books, writing and mustard on our grilled cheese sandwiches.
Every day I strive to be a little more like her, my only regret is my kids didn’t get to have the kind of mom I had. If I was ¼ as good a mom as she was I think I did ok.

4 Replies to “my Mom”

  1. Awh this is a sweet post. I wish my relationship with my mom was half as good. But that a whole nother blog. lol. Have a great day! Its Luther Vandross’ birthday!!!!

  2. I knew your Mother and I know her as the person you have beautifully described. She did have a beautiful soul and a powerful peace about her. I know your children were blessed with you as thier Mom and I know the kind of person you are as well, and they did more than OK!! Given my step-mother situation, I do think of your Mother often as well, and always is a good light with good memories of her. Oh how I loved Sunday lunch after Church at your house!!

  3. My mom always said she got a bonus daughter with you Tammi. She loved you like she loved me. I loved Sunday lunch after church as well. I remember those times fondly and miss them. i wished we lived close enough to have Sunday lunch together now!

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